Some people might call me naive, and I will be the first to agree that this is indeed the case. I've learned the hard way that as we are growing up the relationships between people transform from genuine friendship to some sort of a need based conditional friendship.
My experience with people is summed up in the following statements:
- Yes, I am your friend as long as you can give me [blank]
- I scratch your back, and you scratch mine.
- Let's play together
(About statement 1) Have you ever been in a position of power and you suddenly became very popular?
In 2005 I was promoted into a middle-management position at a small company (about 50 paid and volunteer workers) I was very influential and suddenly everyone was my friend. We worked together, we partied together, and we laughed together. I was respected and I respected everyone.
In 2007 the company was purchased by a bigger, more established firm; and a month later I resigned.
Where are all those friends now? I have no idea, for some reason they stopped calling. Could it have something to do with me not being able to influence their career anymore?
People are your friends when they have something to gain, or something to lose by doing otherwise. Obviously being friends with the boss has its perks.(About statement 2) Think of a relationship between a man and a woman. The woman needs someone to satisfy her emotional needs, and the guy needs someone to satisfy his sexual needs. It's a trade, an exchange of "services".
(About statement 3) This is what I call genuine friendship, this is the relationship you had with your buddies growing up.
No one had a secret plan, you were all there and you wanted to have fun.
Conclusion:
- Keep your childhood friends close, they might be your only real friends.
- Anyone that needs your money (barber, stripper, waiter, car salesman etc.) will be extra nice with you, but that doesn't mean they genuinely like you.
Next Post - How my week looks like
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